Man and Wife Shall Become One Flesh
Truth Taught- Marriage is a covenant that displays the love that Jesus has for the Church
Pastoral Prayer
Mark Chapter 10 is an important chapter concerning discipleship as our Lord continues to teach His followers. Chapter 10 shows us fundamental aspect of life and walking with Christ. Jesus teaches aspects of everyday very practical life when He speaks about divorce and marriage (1-12), children (13-16), and possessions (17-31). For the third time, our Lord speaks about His death and in verse 45, He declares that His death will serve a wonderful and saving purpose, He will give His life as a ransom for many. Then, Mark concludes this Chapter by Jesus healing blind Bartimaeus who trusted in Jesus and became an excellent example of discipleship, himself. This chapter is packed full of some very powerful and meaningful truths we all need to hear and learn from.
Today, we will look at the importance of marriage. Jesus teaches us that the institute of marriage is bigger and more important than we may realize at first glance. First, He teaches that marriage is not to be a male-dominated institution but a new creation of God, to which both husband and wife are equally responsible before God to a life of discipleship and obedience to Christ.
Please Stand:
Mark 10:1–12 (ESV)
10 And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them.
2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” 5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
10 And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
1. Jesus Tested by the Pharisees (Mark 10:1-2)
10 And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them.
2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
Divorce and remarriage have always been controversial issues and were controversial issues even in the Judaism of Jesus’ day. There were two main ways of thinking. One basically taught divorce only permissible if there was adultery involved. The other taught a man could divorce his wife for literally anything.
The actual question is recorded in Matthew’s Gospel…
Matthew 19:3 (ESV)
3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”
The issue is not about whether divorce was lawful or not but what the grounds for divorce are… for any cause?
Now that we understand the issue, let’s trace what takes place in this account.
Our Lord takes the road leaving the area of Galilee where He simply passed by and has turned His attention to the region of Judea and Perea. Mark tells us the geography because beginning in Chapter 10, Jesus leaves the region of Galilee, His ministry there was over and moves on to another area.
What a sad account that He has left the region of His hometown and the people there who had rejected Him. This really stands as a warning to us. Do not reject the Lord Jesus, He will not tarry with us forever. Come to Christ by faith while He is near and while the Holy Sprit is drawing you, don’t put it off and don’t think you can do it later. Jesus left the region of Galilee.
He enters a familiar place. He had been in this area before. This is where John the Baptist carried out His ministry of preaching and baptizing. This was the land of Herod.
The geography helps us to understand just what was being attempted by the Pharisees here. Do you remember what John the Baptist did to get himself into trouble?
John the Baptist had rebuked King Herod for divorcing his wife and marrying his niece Herodias, who had been his brother Philip’s wife. Philip was still living, and both Philip and Antipas were uncles to Herodias—for several reasons, then, Herod’s marriage to Herodias was a violation of God’s law.
Leviticus 18:16 (ESV)
16 You shall not uncover the nakedness of your brother’s wife; it is your brother’s nakedness.
Leviticus 20:21 (ESV)
21 If a man takes his brother’s wife, it is impurity. He has uncovered his brother’s nakedness; they shall be childless.
Herodias seethed with anger toward John the Baptist because he dared to speak out. To appease his wife, Herod had the prophet thrown into prison. As a powerful Roman ruler, Herod could have had John the Baptist executed, but he respected John as a righteous man who spoke the truth and decided not to put him to death. Herod was intrigued by John and liked to hear him speak. In contrast, Herodias loathed John and wanted him dead.
Mark 6:17–24 (ESV)
17 For it was Herod who had sent and seized John and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, because he had married her. 18 For John had been saying to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.” 19 And Herodias had a grudge against him and wanted to put him to death. But she could not, 20 for Herod feared John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he kept him safe. When he heard him, he was greatly perplexed, and yet he heard him gladly.
21 But an opportunity came when Herod on his birthday gave a banquet for his nobles and military commanders and the leading men of Galilee. 22 For when Herodias’s daughter came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests. And the king said to the girl, “Ask me for whatever you wish, and I will give it to you.” 23 And he vowed to her, “Whatever you ask me, I will give you, up to half of my kingdom.” 24 And she went out and said to her mother, “For what should I ask?” And she said, “The head of John the Baptist.”
All this comes into play as Mark writes his Gospel and tells us where Jesus is located. He’s in Herod’s Country and Herod will murder anyone who questions his marriage to his brother’s wife. At this point, that’s what the Pharisees want.
Jesus is being tested and basically being asked whether King Herod was justified or not in divorcing his wife to marry Herodias.
So, it becomes clearer why these Pharisees were asking Jesus about His view of divorce and remarriage. They really didn’t care what He had to teach about the subject, they just wanted to trap Him so that Herod could arrest Jesus and murder Him like he did John the Baptist.
Here’s the question…
2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
Remember Matthew’s adds for any cause. Jesus takes them straight past human tradition and practices to a section in God’s Word…
2. Jesus’ Answer (10:3-5)
3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” 5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.
Most everyone knew the answer to this question. The Pharisees, Scribes and the people were agreed that divorce was permitted in accordance with the provisions in Deuteronomy 24.
Deuteronomy 24:1 (ESV)
24 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,
Here the text tells us that if the husband discovers an indecency in her which is directly speaking of adultery, then he can divorce her if he so choses. The same goes for the wife if she discovers adultery in her husband, she can divorce him.
The husband who has discovered this in his wife or a wife who has discovered this in her husband is biblically permitted to divorce but it is not mandatory. If they can work through it then they should explore that route first but if not then, they are permitted to biblically divorce.
I want to make sure that we lift this subject up out of the often-misunderstood fundamentalist mentality. If a spouse is guilty of adultery the other spouse can biblically divorce the adulterous spouse. He or she does not have to but the offended spouse can seek reconciliation. Now, the offended spouse should not be pressured into doing this. When trust is broken on this level reconciliation may not be possible and so God permits divorce.
While we are talking about divorce, I’d like to explain that this passage is by no means an exhaustive teaching on this topic. Jesus is being tested not sincerely asked about to learn but to find a way to trap Him.
Divorce is a controversial topic and so, like Jesus, it should be looked into from Scripture not from current opinion. So, biblically, a marriage is to be until death. However, because mankind is sinful there are biblical concessions. Adultery is concession number one. The next concession is found in…
1 Corinthians 7:15 (ESV)
15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
So, the second biblical concession is the one the Apostle Paul gives us and that is if the lost spouse leaves/separates then the remaining spouse can divorce the spouse who left. There are a few additional parts to this such as abuse etc. I don’t want to dwell too long here because this is outside of our focus for this text of Scripture.
The point Jesus is making here is that while given the example of adultery, divorce is permitted that is not how marriage was designed. These Pharisees need to know this. They were masters at twisting Scripture to serve their own purposes and to manipulate others and they were trying this on Jesus. He goes right to the Bible.
In Deuteronomy 24, Moses allowed divorce because people had hard hearts and often refused to obey God’s commands. Moses permitted divorce in the case of adultery.
Even the Deuteronomy text is not about marriage but also about divorce. These are verses of concession not intention. What I mean is this, you don’t learn to fly a plane by learning instructions for a crash landing. You don’t learn proper war strategies by only learning the best way to retreat. The concessions for a failed marriage will not teach you how to have a good marriage.
Jesus begins to teach about having a good marriage in the next section by helping us to see what marriage really is and the importance of marriage.
3. God’s Original Design for Marriage (10:6-9)
6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
What does Jesus do here? He takes these evil Pharisees back to God’s original intent for marriage. He goes past the exception clause to what God had in mind when He began marriage. This is a very good tactic for us to model. Whenever people want to argue exceptions then they are forgetting the original intent. So, Jesus bypasses the trap they had set for Him and goes back to the original command of God and purpose of God.
6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.
Because God created mankind, some male and some female He also created marriage. Humans are image bearers of God and intimacy is bound up in marriage because God by His design is stressing that mankind is far different than the animal world.
Genesis 1:27 (ESV)
27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
Because we are made in God’s image and made male and female our Lord instituted the marriage covenant.
It’s not difficult to see why our world who rails against God, attacks the sacredness of mankind, being made male and female and marriage. Our world has taken away the sacredness that God has intended for marriage. They say, men can marry men and women can marry women or men pretending to be women or women pretending to be men can be married. This is not biblical. Our world does not hold marriage as sacred, but we as the Church are called to hold it as sacred. We are called to place our marriages up as an example of how Christ loves His Church and holds fast to His bride.
Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Contained within God’s commands concerning marriage lies the importance of fidelity.
hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Ephesians 5:31–33 (ESV)
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Here, is Paul quoting from Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.” Then Paul adds in verse 32: “This is a great mystery, and I take it to mean Christ and the church.”
The union of man and woman in marriage is a mystery because it conceals, as in a parable, a truth about Christ and the church. The divine reality hidden in the parable of marriage is that God ordained a permanent union between His Son and His bride, the church. Human marriage is the earthly image of this divine plan. As God willed for Christ and the church to become one body…
Galatians 3:28–29 (ESV)
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.
1 Corinthians 12:13 (ESV)
13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.
So, He willed for marriage to reflect this pattern—that the husband and wife become one flesh (Gen. 2:24).
It is no accident that human marriage provides language to explain Christ’s relation to the church.
2 Corinthians 11:2–4 (ESV)
2 For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. 3 But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ. 4 For if someone comes and proclaims another Jesus than the one we proclaimed, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received, or if you accept a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it readily enough.
For human marriage is the copy, not the original. Our one flesh description in human marriage is a picture of our being in Christ as His bride, the Church.
Do our marriages serve as a parable of Christ and His Church? Husbands does your relationship to your wife reflect pure commitment and fidelity to her alone? Wives, are you committed to and do you love and show respect to your husbands. Are you one flesh?
This is what the world and our own hardness of heart wants to destroy.
We must work at having a good marriage because it is truly bigger than we are. Marriage is a wonderful parable and picture of the love Christ has for us.
4. Back to the Original Question (10:10-12)
10 And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
It’s important for us to see that there are no biblical grounds for divorce except the sin of adultery. Even there, divorce is not required but allowed.
So, King Herod committed adultery when he divorced his wife to marry Herodious. That’s the point here.
The point Jesus makes and it is the practice in biblical counseling that remarriage is allowed if the previous marriage ended in divorce because of adultery or desertion.
Someone who decides they do not love their spouse anymore for some reason is not entitled to a biblical divorce. For that person to divorce and remarry, as Jesus tells us is to commit adultery when remarried. The adultery occurs as a result of the remarriage not the divorce.
I do want to also remind everyone that divorce is not the unpardonable sin as many see it today. What we must guard against are casual divorces and unbiblical divorces.
Marriage is truly a gift from God. It is a means of growing in Christ because in marriage we stop thinking only about ourselves and begin to think of someone else. Marriage takes work. It takes genuine sacrifice. It grows humility within us. It makes us better followers of Jesus as we work hard at serving someone else.
Resources Used:
Mark by William Lane
Mark by James Edwards
Words of grace
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