Exodus 20:14 (ESV)
14 “You shall not commit adultery.
The Bible teaches that sex within the bond of marriage is a very good thing. The Catholic Church had wrongly viewed sex as only for procreation. Prior to Calvin and Luther, the Catholic Church had begun to even, believe it or not, prohibit sex on certain holy days, and so by the time of Martin Luther, the list had grown to 183 days a year. We say thank the Lord for the Reformation, right?
The Reformation among many other things began to restore sexual sanity within the marriage and taught a biblical view of sex, not only for procreation but also for the marriage relationship. The Biblical view begins with the truth that sexuality is a gift from God.
Genesis 1:28 (ESV)
28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
We have the Song of Solomon which is the Holy Spirit’s view of sexuality within the bond of marriage. It is at time erotic but never pornographic.
Song of Solomon 4:10–11 (ESV)
10 How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much better is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your oils than any spice!
11 Your lips drip nectar, my bride;
honey and milk are under your tongue;
the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
Some passages I’ll let you read for yourselves. The point is the Bible celebrates the acts of intimacy withing marriage of a man and a woman. That’s why we have the seventh commandment. God desires to maintain the special bond between husband and wife.
1. What is Adultery?
Marital infidelity is the simple answer. It is physical relations that break the bonds of marriage. It is to engage in sexual relations with someone not your spouse. This breaks the bond of marriage. It breaks the marriage covenant made and remember, this promise was made to God as well.
Leviticus 20:10 (ESV)
10 “If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
Not only is the act forbidden but everything that leads up to the act is also forbidden. Most adulterous relationships don’t begin with the actual act but begin with inappropriate intimacy. Flirting, inappropriate conversations, settings where things might happen. Men must not flirt with another man’s wife. This even goes on to single men must not seek a relationship with another man’s wife. Women must not seek emotional support from other men. This includes pornography and other forms of sexual sin.
Westminster Shorter Catechism
Q. 70. Which is the seventh commandment?
A. The seventh commandment is, Thou shalt not commit adultery.[a]
[a]. Ex. 20:14; Deut. 5:18
Q. 71. What is required in the seventh commandment?
A. The seventh commandment requireth the preservation of our own and our neighbour’s chastity, in heart, speech, and behavior [a].
[a]. 1 Cor. 7:2-3, 5; 1 Thess. 4:3-5
Q. 72. What is forbidden in the seventh commandment?
A. The seventh commandment forbiddeth all unchaste thoughts, words, and actions [a].
[a]. Matt. 5:28; Eph. 5:3-4
2. Why is Adultery in All it’s Forms Forbidden?
A. Because sex within the marriage bond is good
One author tells us that it’s the super glue that bonds the marriage together.
1 Corinthians 7:3–5 (ESV)
3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Hebrews 13:4 (ESV)
4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Proverbs 5:15–19 (ESV)
15 Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
16 Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
Adultery is forbidden because sex within marriage is a great force for good.
B. Because there is a close connection between our sexuality and our spirituality
The union between husband and wife is meant to picture God and His people. The Book of Hosea we see Gomer’s adultery is meant to picture Israel’s unfaithfulness to God. Also in Malachi 2 we see that spiritual idolatry is spiritual adultery to God.
In the New Testament we see the connection as well. Our union in marriage is to be a picture of the union between Jesus and His bride, the Church.
Ephesians 5:31–33 (ESV)
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
For the Christian, every act of sexual immorality is a kind of spiritual desecration. It is an act that offends God.
1 Corinthians 6:15–20 (ESV)
15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
One way then, that we show our covenant loyalty to Christ is to be faithful to our spouse or if you’re single, to your future spouse.
C. Because sexual sin dishonors the Holy Spirit
18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?
God has purchased us and our bodies when Christ died and shed His blood for us. We are not our own we have been bought with a price. When we engage in sexual sin we dishonor God who owns us and has given us the Holy Spirit who dwells within us.
3. What Jesus Tells Us About Adultery
Matthew 5:27–30 (ESV)
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.
Heart-Adultery Leads to Eye-Adultery and Those Lead to the Act of Adultery
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Again, as with murder and anger from last time Jesus is concerned about the heart of His followers. He knows that it is the inner person that must be changed and conformed to His image. This is because lost people often keep from the actual act of adultery but a lost person cannot have purity of heart they can only at best adhere to some external acts.
So, if the Spirit is purifying one’s heart then that person has assurance of their salvation. Are we being remade in the inner person or are we only engaged with external do’s and don’ts?
The sinful act always begins with the heart and sinful acts always affect the heart. This issue works in both directions. The more we give in to temptation (the heart) the more we commit sin (outward act) the easier it becomes to sin because our heart is even more corrupt, our conscience is even more seared than before and we begin down the spiral to more and more sin. How do we stop the downward spiral? We must see and understand the reality of how sin works.
I want us to look at two examples from the Bible. One shows us the biblical birth process of sin and the other an example. Let’s see if we can spot the problem. I want to look together at James Chapter One. Here, James shows us how sin begins with an internal desire and moves to an external act and then ultimately if left unchecked brings forth death.
James 1:13–15 (ESV)
13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. 14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
Do you see the stages of sin? God isn’t tempting anyone to sin. The devil isn’t tempting anyone to sin. There is no external source that tempts us to sin. In the case of our current context in Matthew 5 and adultery, James’ passage fits extremely well. It uses language of conception, birth, and death.
So, according to God here, what is the cause of our temptation? It’s not anything but our own desire. It’s not money, the pretty girl, the handsome man, pressure, stress, or anything external it is our own desires. Desire leads to sin being conceived and born and left unchecked and allowed to grow up brings forth death.
We must stop blaming others and/or our situation for our sin. The devil didn’t make you do it nor did anyone else…it was you and you alone.
Once we see this we can move forward. No one makes you sin, your environment doesn’t make you sin, nothing external makes you sin. Sin comes from your desires.
You may know the account in the Bible of King David and Bathsheba.
2 Samuel 11:1–4 (ESV)
11 In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel. And they ravaged the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem.
2 It happened, late one afternoon, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king’s house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful. 3 And David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, “Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” 4 So David sent messengers and took her, and she came to him, and he lay with her. (Now she had been purifying herself from her uncleanness.) Then she returned to her house.
It may have been that David’s first glance upon Bathsheba was an accidental one. But whatever the nature of that initial glance might have been, the Bible describes David’s action as a lingering gaze; saying that she was beautiful to “behold”. Clearly, David’s first glance at this bathing woman became a lingering gaze – and eventually, an expression of an immoral desire for her.
And his lust for her became expressed in action. He inquired about her, called for her, and then slept with her. And just as the Bible doesn’t shy away from telling us the truth about David’s sin, neither does it shy away from telling us the truth about that sin’s consequences. She became pregnant; and what followed was a series of lies and cover-ups that was unimaginable in David – the man after God’s own heart – arranging for the murder of the woman’s husband. When finally confronted, David repented; but the whole rest of his life, from that point on, was the story of a man suffering the terrible, unwanted consequences of this sin.
As James tells us it all came from David’s desire.
Jesus continues His teaching on God’s view of lust and adultery by giving us the proper attitude for Adultery and Lust. How are we to respond to the temptation of lust and then adultery? Jesus tells us we are to respond with radical obedience.
4. The Right Attitude Toward Sexual Sin
29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.
What is Jesus telling us here? Is He really telling us to gouge out our eyes and cut off our hands if we struggle with sexual sin or any sin really? No, He is exaggerating to make an impact on us. He is telling us to be very radical when it comes to dealing with sexual sin. The right attitude is to be drastic and do whatever it takes.
I’ve counseled folks who struggle with pornography. Often, they want to be rid of it and at the same time, they don’t want to be rid of it. Many times when it comes down to doing radical things to take away as many temptations as possible they are not willing to be radical.
Romans 13:13–14 (ESV)
13 Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
If someone struggles with sexual immorality and wants to overcome it then how can this person… make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires?
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