Biblical Singleness, Marriage, and Divorce
1 Corinthians 7:1-16
Truth Taught- Paul’s overarching principle: if possible, stay as you are
Before we begin Chapter 7 there are a few things we must know in order to approach what Paul writes in its proper context.
The first six chapters came about from a report Paul had received.
1 Corinthians 1:11 (ESV)
11 For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers.
The Apostle spends the first six chapters addressing the very surprising report that he had received from those who were within the Church of Corinth that he refers to as Chloe’s people.
That report showed Paul where the Gospel was at stake and his tone was very Apostolic and authoritative.
Now, this section is his response to a letter the Church had written him with questions about marriage and divorce within the Church. They were inquiring what God wants them to do in various cases and situations.
Paul’s response still carries the authority of an Apostle and yet he addresses these questions with advice more than commands. He will in fact use these very words in his response… It is good… The husband should…the wife should…6 Now as a concession, not a command… that it is good for them to remain single
We see much in this section that serves us as biblical guidelines than biblical mandates or commands. Still, our obedience is required. Then there are parts where he does show us God’s commands regarding marriage and divorce.
Some have wondered why this section is where it is. The answer is it naturally flows from the previous section which highlighted the union between husband and wife as Paul quoted from Genesis…
Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Chapter Seven of 1 Corinthians stands as the greatest apostolic teaching on marriage within the Bible. Let’s praise God for His instructions concerning this subject matter and seek to obey what we are shown and may our lives whether married or single be lived for God’s glory.
There is one more general focus Paul has in this Chapter…It can be summed up by this general statement…Whatever condition or state you are in currently, remain there. If you’re married, seek to remain married. If you’re single, seek to remain single. Both are general statements with exceptions.
1 Corinthians 7:1–16 (ESV)
7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
1. To the Married: It is Preferable to Stay as You Are (7:1-5)
7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
The Corinthians had a second slogan: It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.
That slogan was not necessarily true. Paul explains why. The slogan would be a good thing for some who can handle the temptation like Paul. A single person can do things for Christ in service that a married person may not be able to do. A single person can go to hard places and risk his life for Christ and the Gospel easier than a married person with a family. For Paul being single was an advantage.
For most, marriage is good. Because humanity can fall into pornea, men should have wives and women should have husbands.
Once married, there should be no abstinence except by mutual agreement for a short time.
In order to have a good healthy marriage, 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
The one flesh relationship that takes place within the marriage union is a physical and spiritual relationship. Just as in the last section where Paul told us that the body is for the Lord and the Lord for the body. He now expands that to include one’s spouse. Now, there is mutual authority in the one flesh union.
1 Corinthians 6:13 (ESV)
13 “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
In marriage, each person has their responsibility to give the other their marital rights, as Paul puts it.
5 Do not deprive one another
The literal Greek has in mind not the attitude of you owe me but the attitude of I owe you. As a spouse, your attitude is that I will give the other their conjugal rights because it is the right thing to do not that they are demanding it.
Biblically, then, the marriage bed is a unifying force that helps to create the one flesh relationship and a force that produces true mutuality, both being concerned for the other.
Because the Physical and Spiritual are connected, we see that mutual consent for abstinence so that the spiritual can be in focus for a short time.
5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer;
2. To the Single: It is Preferable to Stay as You Are (7:8-9)
6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Here we see Paul’s concession not a command. If a person is single and that perhaps is their gift then stay single. It’s important that we see this for what it is. He is not saying to everyone who is single to stay single but if you are like the Apostle Paul, in that you’re gifted in that area then stay single/stay as you are.
To even widows and widowers, if you’re like Paul, gifted with celibacy then stay as you are. However, if not then the best thing is to seek to be married.
He concludes, it’s better to be married than to lust and go out to prostitutes etc as the Corinthians were doing.
Paul’s personal preference is for his own status and yet he understands that not all share in his spiritual gift, literally, charisma. He is not making this a requirement but a concession.
3. A Biblical View of Divorce (7:10-16)
10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
A. A Christian couple should not separate or divorce (7:10,11)
10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
Within the Corinthian Church was a group some have called certain women and others have written that it was men, however, the issue was that because they felt they could not be as spiritual perhaps as they could be if they were single, divorces were beginning to take place. These divorces were with the thinking that because one could serve the Lord better as a single person, they would either separate or divorce their spouses.
Here, Paul addresses both the wife and the husband.
Typically, in the ancient world the way divorce worked was if you were a woman, you separated yourself from your husband and if you were a husband, you sent your wife away. Both are technically divorces. Paul covers this clearly. If you are Christians stay married. Work through whatever the issues are and do not ever separate thinking you can serve Christ better single.
His emphasis is stay as you are.
B. A Christian and a lost person should not divorce (7:12-16)
12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Again, the same thinking was prevalent within the Church of Corinth…How can I serve the Lord married to this pagan? I think I will divorce him/her.
12-13 show us that when the unbeliever is willing to remain married to the believer, the believer should not divorce them because they can serve the Lord better single. If the unbeliever is willing to stay then the believer should remain married. Stay as you are is the best advice.
Before we continue, I want to explore a condition in today’s culture. That is Pastors doing weddings for lost people. It is clear that one cannot truly know a persons heart. I’m not talking about that but what I am talking about is knowingly performing a marriage ceremony for known lost people.
The Bible tells us…
2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV)
14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
So, pastors should do their best to make sure each person who desires to be married are Christians.
The dynamic in Corinth was both husband and wife were lost pagans when they were married and then one gets saved. Now what should the saved person do who desires to serve Christ while their lost spouse is still serving his idols?
Paul tells us that if the lost person desires to remain married then the Christian should not divorce. Rather than the believer divorcing to go out and serve Christ, perhaps their mission field is within their own home.
14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
Perhaps within the home the unbelieving spouse, after seeing what a Christian looks like and experiences unconditional love of Christ, may get saved and perhaps even the children or some of them will come to Christ through the influence of the godly spouse.
If the spouse is willing to stay in the marriage, then the Christian should also stay…
16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
However, if the other spouse leaves…
15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
If the unbeliever leaves then, it is okay to let them go. Why? The Christian is called to peace. The Christian is not bound to maintain the marriage when the other leaves.
Here again is Paul’s…if possible, stay -as -you -are -principle. Sometimes, it’s not possible.
The issues in Corinth have given us some Godly counsel as we consider specifics in our own lives. We must always use grace in these situations and remember each case is different.
The Gospel was changing things in Corinth and people needed Godly counsel. The Gospel was changing the dynamics of the family and they needed advise on how to handle their lives in light of the Gospel message.
How has the Gospel changed your life?
Resources Used
1 Corinthians by Gordon Fee
Leave a Reply